Lay 'em down

This week was really busy, it's not quite over until tomorrow night's big event with Head Start but two other media events I had are over so I'm feeling better. Do you ever have those horror moments "What am I doing?!" "What am I going to do?!" "What if I stink at this?!" Well I had been having them in the back of my mind for the last two weeks. I felt like if I didn't get media out, coverage on TV or in print for my clients I was a dead man. I went home Tuesday afternoon from a full day of meetings in both South Dallas and McKinney (about an hour communte) with a migrain that literally made me want to throw up in the car. I made it home and went to bed for two hours.

But after that it was like something clicked and I felt like I needed to lay those burdens down in front of the Lord and let him walk through them with me. Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Giving those worries over to him made me remember that HE put me in these jobs, HE has gone before me, and HE would provide the coverage needed when I send my press releases off to Neverneverland.

He came through. Head Start had news and two print coverages and another station out today and this morning WFAA called me and said they wanted to come to the spring planting event at the school! I was blown away and even more blown when they showed up! Coverage was on an hour later and post-event print is still possible! I'm really excited for all that the Lord is doing. Tomorrow night I get to enjoy the event, volunteer, take some pictures for them and know that God knows where I am and what we need.

Laying your burdens down doesn't mean the Lord takes them away, He just walks with you through them. Let him carry the heavy stuff and you take his lighter load full of joy and free of pain.

My first paycheck

Today I received my first paycheck in the mail today. My first paycheck that reached a normal size since JULY 2009. Wow. The Lord has really brought us through, and now, thanks to our tax rebate coming along this week too, my paycheck can go to whatever we want and not catching up or bills. By the way, this usually means we'll stick it in savings and stew on what to do with it for the next three years - my husband's a saver thank God!

I said I'd believe it when I saw it. Believe it that people would actually pay me for what I'm doing and that this means I have a business now. A business? I did not set out to do that, that's for sure but God had other plans.... really good ones too. A friend of mine, well actually a few friends have told me that I seem happier now. Isn't it funny what shines through when you don't even know it? I gripe about taxes and worry about what I'm supposed to do, but you know I'm proud of that and it doesn't fool anyone.

The other thing is that the Lord made it impossible for me to tell anyone how I got to what I'm doing now without saying his name at least five times and giving him the credit. I love that He did that for me because I am quick to take the credit! I guess I just feel like the Lord really came through with his promise to me. He always does.

Isaiah 46:11b "What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do."

Death by taxes.

This weekend I went home for a quick trip. During that time I had one goal - ask a very smart uncle of mine what I'm supposed to do about taxes. As it turns out, I wish I'd never asked. Apparently, the government hates small business and wants to kill it by taxing the hell out of it... sorry but seriously! Here's what I'm supposed to do.

First, I file as a sole proprietorship and promise myself NEVER to hire ANYONE EVER in order to keep from having to pay more taxes. Then I file quarterly - QUARTERLY as in four times a year because who doesn't want to think of that old gray man Uncle Sam just on April 15th? Then my poor, precious, hard-working husband gets roped into my income and WHAM he's taxed to the inth because all of sudden my business + his income = hay day for Sammy-boy. So he's having to have the maximum amount of withholding taken from his check so we don't get punched in the face come April 2011.

Way to go America. Ok, I think I'm done with that rant.

I was certain no one said it better than Benjamin Franklin when he said, "Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." However, that's not quite true.

Of several more things I am certain.

* The Lord is having me experience this for a reason and although it's hard I love it
* He is my provider
* and He is with me wherever I go... and however much I'm taxed
* His burden is always lighter
* My true inheritance is not what is here but what is stored in heaven for me because of Jesus' sacrificial death and resurrection

As Peter tells us in 1 Peter 2:17, "Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king." aka pay up!

When it rains...

... it pours as they say. Yesterday it rained all day outside and over the last several months it has been a flood of blessings from the Lord. However, it has also been pouring full-time job opportunities. Isn't it funny, that once I made this decision and began to act on it to become a consultant, people took notice and decided I'd be a great fit in their own companies! I have had at least five leads to full-time employment and two of those have been since Friday.

My standard response to this was always "Oh thank you so much but I'm really trying to grow my business and see where this leads." But yesterday, a woman from my SMU class contacted me about a full-time, great paying, great company, great benefits job that opened up on her team. I know this lady, she's awesome, smart, successful, has a wonderful disposition and darn it I'd like to work for her! This was the first time I didn't want to say "Oh thank you so much, blah blah blah." I wanted to say "Whoohoo! Full time? Paying me great money to do a cool job in marketing communications for your great company, Yes!" I told her two months ago I would've jumped at this but I turned it down.

I'm even a little bummed out about it still. I think the reason is that this path, you know, the one the Lord opened up for me and provided wonderful people to work with in just a few weeks? Yeah that path isn't as easy and it doesn't provide dental. :) I really felt my faith falter a little as I remembered how great it was to have a check automatically drafted into your account every two weeks, a check that would've been more than I'd seen in a long while. No invoicing, no wondering when I'll get paid, no spreadsheets of hours. But I stayed on this path and I prayed, "Lord, help me trust you."

I know I made the right decision and probably offers like these and leads like the ones that come up will happen but I'll just take that as a sign I'm doing a good job and move forward.

Today the sun is out in full force and I remember "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning." -Lamentations 3:22-23.